One week down, fourteen to go.

One week down, fourteen to go.

Let me just say, there is nothing after a hard days work like having a delicious brownie smothered in ice cream from Peiter’s Place, an ice cold Sprite, and laying down on a bedbug free mattress in front of a small plastic fan. I imagine that heaven feels a little something like this… That being said, I think it is safe to say that I am thoroughly enjoying myself so far. A few people have asked me how it feels to be back here in Pemba, Mozambique, and my most common answer has been that it feels like I never left. I am blown away that I am getting the opportunity to come back to this amazing place for four months. I wish it could be longer, but for now Ill take what I can get.

Even in these first few days, God has already been putting things on my heart and attempting to change my mindset. That can potentially be a very difficult task as a lot of the time it feels like my brain is off and Im just auto-piloting through my day. Ive realized that I don’t put a lot of effort into being aware of God’s presence, or what things he is speaking to or trying to do in me. I really want this to change, so Im going to make a conscious effort to make the following stick as much as I possibly can.

One of the first things I felt he was speaking to me about is my faithfulness, obedience, and trust. I think that it is natural to put trust into things that you can see, where you can tell that a physical change has taken place; for instance, when I turn the key of my dad’s new dodge truck, I KNOW that the engine starts and continues to run. The dual exhaust mixes with the Hemi in just the right way, and that bad boy literally growls on start up. Man, that’s a beautiful sound… Contrast that with the startup of a Prius. The creators have designed this vehicle to be nearly silent under five miles an hour. I remember when I rode in one of these. We were moving out of the parking spot and down the road before I realized that the car had been started. There was no indication, short of movement, that anything had taken place under the hood. It was a bit unnerving. I wanted the roar of a powerful engine, to feel myself pushed back into the seat during acceleration. But regardless of the initial indicators, both vehicles are fully capable on getting me to where I need to go.

The big question for me in all this is, even if I cannot physically tell that an event, such as the starting of a car, has taken place, will I still trust that it has indeed happened? Will I continue to turn the key over and over again, even when it feels like there is little or no result? The problem with putting your faith in things that you can see is this; when you don’t see anything, you don’t have faith. God asked me that this week. ‘If you never feel my presence, will you still know that I am there? If you pray for miracles and healings for the rest of your life and never see one take place, will you still know that I am God? Will you do something foolish over and over and over again simply because I asked you to?’ It is my heart’s desire to answer yes to all of these questions, but it’s difficult. I mean, how would you feel if you went to work day after day for your entire life, and you never received a paycheck? You’d quit! That’s unacceptable! You put all this work into something that you will never receive credit for, never see the fruit of your hard work and lost time. But then again things work differently in an upside-down kingdom. Sometimes you do get to see the result of your hard work. Sometimes your hard work has built faith in others, and they begin to work hard as well. Sometimes your hard work gives another family on the verge of death what they need to survive, and they go on to completely change the world. The Lord was asking me, will you be obedient, even when it doesn’t make sense to you? Will you trust that the things I ask you to do will make a change in the supernatural realm? Will you remain faithful to me, as I remained faithful to you?

Another thing that God led me to yesterday is the Joy in suffering. (a lot of this im still shifting through, so it may be messy) Papa Rolland said this over and over to us during the school last year, but like I said, it was always difficult for me to grasp. Im sure I still don’t completely have it. The bible says that it was for Joy set before him that Christ endured the cross. I think that the Joy that is being talked about here, is the fact that once Jesus died, I could be saved, redeemed, renewed, and more. We are his Joy. He has already proven that he would go through anything to get to us. Wow. That’s a swell thought. Here’s the kicker though, am I willing to do the same for him? We are told in the bible that if we follow after Jesus we will be persecuted. Its not a maybe, not an eventually, it’s a ‘we will.’ All the theology that says if you are following Jesus you never have to go through suffering or lack of prosperity or so on and so fourth sounds great in theory, but experience says otherwise. Look at the disciples. These men were with Jesus and spread his teachings worldwide. They are without a doubt some of the most on fire Jesus followers in existence, and they were all martyred, they all suffered. Did that detract them one bit from the Joy that they found in following their Jesus? Absolutely not. If you are following Jesus, darkness is going to do everything it can to stop you, and it can do a lot. But no matter what, if you are giving your whole heart and life to Jesus, you’ve been saved. Even if you are quite literally having the worst day of your life, even nearing death, the very fact that Jesus died for you and saved you will be enough to give you absolute Joy. I mean, how can you have a bad day being saved? How can stubbing your toe, or crashing your car, or losing your job, or your house, or (the list goes on) even stand in comparison to the Joy to be had by knowing that Jesus paid the ultimate price for you? It doesn’t compare. It never will. No amount of darkness can outweigh your Joy. Now saying that and knowing it are two completely different things, and that is what I really need Jesus to work in me over the next few months. So if you are praying for me, mark that revelation high up on your list, above safety and the like. It would be much appreciated.

Ummmm, bye? (< ----- worst outro ever)